What are good questions; and why do you need to know how to ask them? Here are TIPS on when to be prepared with good questions and how. And here also is my recommendation on the best question to avoid as a starter for networking, along with what to do instead.

Say you are attending a networking event, and there are a lot of people there that you don’t know. It’s common to feel pressured to get to know or talk to as many people as possible in a short amount of time.

Over the years I have been in a lot of those situations. And I find that so many people have come up to me and the very first thing out of their mouth is the question “What do you do?”

Well, most of us do like the opportunity to tell people what our business is about, with the hope that we will be talking to a potential client or a referral source.

But if you believe (rightly) that a new relationship has to be grown on the basis of the formula “know-like-trust,” that’s not the right question to begin with. In fact, while I believe it’s good to be direct, that question is jumping the gun for relationship building and is even off-putting. When I have called someone on this when they approached me that way (usually men), they at first look shocked – and then sincerely thank me.

So, what should you do instead? Ask questions - ones that convey the curiosity, interest, energy and rapport to lead to a meaningful and enjoyable conversation.

People want to feel seen, recognized and important. When they don’t, they want to leave a manager, employer, a networking chat or even a longstanding friendship.

Even usually hard-edged politicians have been making an effort to appear “relatable” and even vulnerable. They are talking about personal values and stories before stating or “pitching” what they do for business.

So, if you are at a networking event, even if you are under time pressure to be brief, as in virtual breakouts, be prepared with a few questions to turn the conversation to and engage the other person. Even if you don’t get time at the event to convey what you do, you can gain. It will be more valuable to you to learn some things about your conversation partner in order to be able to follow up with and continue the conversation.

Call to Action: Please share your “asking questions” experiences and stories with me and what difference it makes. If you need help starting conversations, especially with people new to you, let’s talk. Pwhaserot@pdcounsel.com

#networkingtips #relationshipbuilding #berelatable #networkingquestions